You Belong With Me
by MagicWeMade
Summary: When Edward left in NewMoon he meant everything he said to Bella. Bella has changed mentally and physically. When the Cullen's all come back, Edward gets with Jessica, causing Bella to be determined to change everything about herself to win Edward back.
1. Change Of Heart and Mind

Summary-_ When Edward left in NewMoon, he meant all the things he said to Bella. Edward and the Cullen's come back a few months later and Bella has changed physically and mentally- she's overweight and has a 'life isn't worth it anymore' attitude. Edward gets with Jessica, and Bella snaps out of her miserable life, and becomes determined to change everything about her new self to win Edward back._

_If you could see that I'm the one who understands you  
Been here all along so why can't you see?  
You belong with me  
_

Bella POV

I sat at the lunch table, alone. I looked around as the voices of happiness, and laughter echoed around the room. I wondered what it was like to drop everything and laugh with friends. I hadn't done that in a long time. I was cable of it. I was capable of smiling and being happy, but I can't bring myself to do it.

What exactly is good about life anyway? I guess it varies from person to person. But my life, had a turn for the worst after the love of my life and the family of my dreams left me with my piteous self. Leaving me to sulk, leaving me to change.

Though, funny enough, the biggest pain I've felt throughout all of this are the words Edward said to me when he left. Though he left so many months ago, I can still hear the words he had spoken with so much sincerity and cruelty. Each time I think of them, it punches an ever lasting hole in my heart. And it hurts so bad, especially at night.

I'm not so upset that I want to die. But I just don't see the point in a life where nothing is good, where everything is the same day after the day, the same routines follow. Where there is no excitement.

Out of the corner of my eye I spotted Eric getting up with a fake look of being hurt on his face. Angela and Jessica were in fits of giggles, and I briefly wondered what they were talking about even though I would never ask them."Well then, I know when I'm not wanted," He acted, with a small smile pulling up on the edges of his mouth, and with that, he stormed out of the room. Even I knew he wasn't really upset. He was faking being upset to be funny or whatever. I hadn't faked anything in ages. Not even a fake smile.

To me, today was another day of life. Morning, school, afternoon, homework, dinner and bed. This cycle repeated every day. Nothing of so much importance changed this daily plan. It was all the same.

Before Edward. I didn't know I needed someone like him to love me. I thought I didn't need _anyone_ to love me, or even take care of me. But after Edward left, I found out how stupid I was to not think about someone like Edward coming along. I _need _him. Now someone like him is the only thing I dream about. No, _he's_ the only one I dream about.

But those dreams turn into nightmares, because when I think I see him, he's really just a cruel figment on my imagination. Someone like him doesn't come around twice. _Love _like that doesn't give second chances. You get what you get. I got almost a year with him, I should be happy.

Though, for him, he'd probably get any kind of love he wanted. He never moved forward, or changed, he's just beautiful, inside and out.

I looked down on myself. I had changed. My slim body with a lack of curves, had turned out even worse these past few months. I now was now fat. I had bigger curves yes- I'm a C cup- but of course you can't see that, because my stomach is as big as my breasts making me look flat chested. Everything is so uncomfortable. I had let myself go, majorly. My feeling towards food- not wanting to eat - had changed, and after a month I turned into the opposite of what I used to be. I ate all the time now.

And I didn't eat healthy foods either. For a while, no change in my body had taken place, I was still slim and I had thanked my fast metabolism for that. But after a while I realised most of the muscle I had was gone and replaced by fat. That's when my metabolism had started to slow down and I started putting on heaps of weight, and after I put on 30kg, I gave up on caring.

I gave up on caring about everything. My life, my health, my feelings, my attitude, Charlie. Nothing mattered. I looked at the table in front of me which was Jessica's table now, trying to distract myself from me. Eric was still gone out of the room, and Jessica, Lauren, Angela and Mike were now talking as friends did. I wondered if they were embarrassed of me. Of my appearance. Did I tell you I have a lot of pimples?

They tried to talk to me sometimes, though. It wasn't like they were ignoring me, it was the opposite, really. When they tried to talk to me, I either ignored them, moved, or said a brief, low 'hi' and didn't say anything else. I didn't like to be bothered. And when I say bothered I mean, talked too. I'd rather be alone.

My thoughts of my sad life were interrupted as someone tapped me on the shoulder. I turned around to see Eric. His face had a small smile on it, but it was fake. His eyes said something different. He had something on his mind. I sighed, I didn't have time for his problems, he probably wanted something from me. Well, I wasn't in a state to give. Maybe, he might want to ask if I wanted someone to sit with. To me, that was worse than hearing his problems. I was content on my own, I don't need company.

I looked back down, maybe he would go away if I ignored him. Yes this was rude, but I didn't feel like talking, as I never did. "Bella," He taped me again. I sighed again, as I turned around to meet his burning eyes. He didn't hide anything from me this time. His face showed something this time, it was clearly displayed. It was worry. But it didn't look like the usual worry everyone had when they saw me, It was different.

Something had happened. "What?" I asked, rather rudely. Eric's face didn't fall one single bit, the worry stayed implanted onto his face. "Bella... we need to get out of here," He told me, obviously knowing he's treading on thin ice with me, he knew I didn't like to be talked to. What the hell is he on about?

"Get out of where?" I asked, clearly annoyed. "This school, I want to get you home... I don't think you should be here right now," He told me, I could see he was having trouble getting out his words without revealing too much.

"Why?" I questioned him sharply. "Just... that's not important, I'll tell you once we're out," He told me, trying to keep his desperation to a minim. I was actually really confused. This was odd. I didn't have many other emotions in my range anymore. I tried to keep the neutral depression thing usually. But confusion was new to me. Well, at least it felt new to me as it washed over my face.

"What's going on Eric?" I asked with a frown, as my eyebrows furrowed. Eric quickly turned around to the cafeteria door -that my vision was pointed in- to look at something that wasn't there, and turned back around exhaling a held breath of his. "Look, Bella... I can't tell you right now. But you need to get out of here, please trust me," He pleaded, his fingers lasing in front on him, wanting badly for me to trust him.

"Is it a life or death situation?" I asked getting bored of this charade. Eric could sense I was getting over this situation, and fast, and soon his presence would be nothing to me. "Not exactly, but-" I cut him off abruptly, "Then No," I said simply. I looked back down at the table hoping that now I've given him my answer, he'd go away. But knowing Eric, he wouldn't, but I at least hoped he'd take the obvious hint and go away. I didn't have to leave because he told me too.

"Please Bella, I'm begging you here, just say yes and come with me," He pleaded once more. I looked up at him again and sighed in frustration. I bit my lip angrily. I was getting angry now, but in a way it _was _something new. This didn't exactly happen everyday.

I didn't answer him. What could possibly be so bad he needed to get me out, but wasn't that bad to be a life or death situation?

Eric froze in front of me, his worried face deepening. He balled his fists as he sighed in frustration. "I'm sorry Bella, but I need to do this," He almost whispered I looked at him like he was crazy. What was he talking about now?

Eric grabbed my arm and hauled me up. I was shocked by his action. How dare he touch me! I hadn't touched anyone in ages, and he knew this. Plus I was fat, so it must have been a huge effort on his part. "What are you doing?" I whispered darkly. I wasn't happy and he knew it. Though, I knew he didn't care right now. He wanted to get me out of here for some strange, unknown reason.

The stubborn side of me kicked in as I realised I didn't want to be pushed around by Eric. He's not the boss of me. I snatched my arm from his grip. "Bella... please," He half turned around and then it was like everything was in slow motion. As soon as he had turned around he turned quickly back and grabbed my arm in attempt to haul me into the other direction away from the cafeteria entrance.

But it was too late. I had already seen what he was trying to protect me from. Eric attempted to turn me around but my solid and pudgy form wouldn't move for him. It wouldn't even move for me. I was frozen in this spot, and I felt like the whole world had stopped.

Eric then tried to wake me from my frozen form, but it was like he wasn't even there. I could feel him but the only thing I had eyes for was Edward. Edward is back.

Edward in all his glory walked casually into the room. His hair was beautifully windswept, and messy as usual, his were eyes golden and his posture loose and happy. Just like I had remembered. A small smile was playing onto his mouth. The sight of him nearly made me faint, but I stayed strong. He was just _waltzing _in here, as if he was here every day.

Everything in me prayed that everything Edward had said to me in the woods, was a lie. That he left for some stupid reason, and was here to ask me back. I didn't actually believe in that happening... but I wanted it so badly.

Edward was walking towards me. I didn't know what to do or say. Nothing made sense. Had I missed something? Am I missing something? Was he back? Why is he smiling? Am I the reason he is back? I could feel my hopes rising, and I was scared because I knew they would crash back down and I would be even sadder than usual if this didn't go how I wanted it to go, which it wouldn't. But never the less, my hopes were gaining some serious momentum.

Edward was now incredibly close- well closer than before at least. He was about 8 paces in front of me. I wondered briefly if this was all a nightmare. But as I felt the strain on my shoulder from Eric's pulling, I knew it was real. I know he's real. I released the breathe I was holding and took another long breath and held it again as Edward came closer. He was now so close I could nearly reach him if I put my hand out and stretched.

But I then noticed that his eyes hadn't actually touched me hadn't even reached my figure, or rested on me. He was looking straight past me. His eyes were distant. I don't even know if he had seen me. Where else- or who else- would he go to if he wasn't looking at me? I shook those thoughts out of my head. Of course he was here for me. He wouldn't just walk straight past me.

But to my serious dismay, he walked straight past me, as if I was nothing. He didn't even give me a glance, he didn't give me anything. I shook Eric off as I regained control of my body. Eric's wide eyes met mine as he tried to pull me to the exit again. Was he seriously trying to stop me from seeing Edward?

"Get off me" I snarled angrily. Eric looked at me with his deepest sympathies, and I wondered why as I turned around and saw Edward at Jessica's table. What was he dong there?

Edward tapped Jessica on the shoulder. She turned around and smiled brightly as he pulled her out of her seat and into his strong arms, and held her in one of his famous embraces. My jaw dropped. What the hell is going on? I looked at the sight in front of me, feeling as if I was going to break down sobbing, crying or just break down all together.

As if it couldn't get any worse, Edward stroked her face lovingly and I heard distant 'ooooo's and 'aww's echoing from around the whole cafeteria. Edward then pulled Jessica into a kiss. A _passionate_ kiss that _didn't _end after 5 seconds. He _never_ kissed _me _like that. I felt like I was a mental patient at this moment. I felt as though something had just instantly gone missing in my brain as Edward kissed Jessica. I thought I even felt one of my eyes twitch.

My brain couldn't comprehend the situation in front of me. After the kiss they shared was finally over, Jessica giggled as he kissed her on the top her nose, and another round of 'awws' erupted from their table.

Eric blocked my vision of Edward and Jessica before I could see anything else. I felt the sudden urge to push him harshly onto the floor and out of the way, but my body wasn't responding to any commands. "What...," is all I could manage to get out of my mouth.

"Bella... Edward and Jessica have been dating for a while out of school... I am so sorry no one told you, and I'm even sorrier you had to find out like this," He apologised. I nodded softly -as I found I was able to move again- as if I understood. But I didn't understand. This simple situation wasn't so simple for me. How was this even possible? Edward and _Jessica_? It doesn't seem right at all. But as the scene continued to play out in front of me, it obviously was.

Eric patted my shoulder softly, getting the hint that I wanted him gone, _finally, _and then walked over to the table that held the scene that ripped my heart out all over again. I had thought that Edward leaving me was bad. Well this was a hundred times worse.

I looked at Edward and Jessica as they stood in a slightly more causal position than what I had seen before. Edward's arms were around her waist as they faced each other talking about something I wasn't part of.

I eyed them both, especially Jessica. I know I probably looked like a stalker, but no one was looking at me. No one _ever _looked at me. I guess that was a good thing in this case. Jessica was everything I used to be, Edward wanted, and what I wanted.

I got a closer look on Jessica as I tried to look at _just _her. _Jessica_ was gloriously thin- slender- her curves were all in the right places. No wonder Edward wanted her. She was always smiling. She was never _depressed_, shy or scared. Jessica is perfect. Why would I even think Edward would be here for me? He probably didn't even recognise me underneath all this fat and depression.

I didn't realise I was crying until I lifted my hand up to brush a strand of my hair of my face and felt the wetness all over my cheeks. I wiped my cheeks and then underneath my eyes, getting rid of all evidence of crying.

I suddenly realised something. Edward wasn't shallow. He wouldn't no like me, or anyone in that matter for their weight or looks. Edward just didn't like _me_. He had said so himself in the forest that awful afternoon so many months ago. He said I wasn't good enough for him, he said he didn't want me. Now it makes more sense.

My weight was just a contributing factor, as was Jessica's glorious body and looks, that drew him in, as well as her personality. I continued to stare at the scene in front of me in awe. I didn't want to look away, and at the same time I felt I _had_ to look away, as my heart was slowly decomposing into nothing, _again_.

Edward's adoring face turned into the crocked smile I loved. I took in a sharp breath, as something wavered over me. I felt things changing in me. Something was very different now. The hot, sweaty and angry state of my body went cold, as a feeling washed over me. _Correction_, a bunch of _feelings_ washed over me.

Confidence, strength, triumph, eagerness, courage and a whole lot of faith and determination. I _will_ get him back. Whatever it takes. I'm going to change for him. I'll change _back_ for him. I will change into whatever he wants. If the old me wasn't good enough for him, I'll be better. If he didn't want me, I'll work on that, I'll gain his trust and friendship, and he'll love me someday soon. Whatever he wants I'll be it. He _loved_ me, I know he_ did_. I _will_ get him to love me again. Nothing will stop me. I love him, and only he, can make me truly happy. And I believe, only _I_ can make him truly happy.

I'm going to do this for love.

**Continue or not? Please review and let me know :) **


	2. Romeo and Juliet and Moronic Male Gender

**Thanks for all your reviews and story alerts, author alerts, and everything else :) Sorry I haven't updated! Assessments, reading... same excuses I guess, but I'll try and not let them come between us again :) Also, I ahve absolutely no idea how I wrote over 7,000 words... but anyways Enjoy :)**

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Bella's POV

Life is not a game; I reminded myself. You have to work hard to get to where you want to be. You can't just _roll_ the dice, and expect to get good or bad results. Everything you do in life - every choice has a consequence, and when you make a choice, you're basically deciding your future- or the outcome.

I stared at myself in the mirror. I didn't like what I saw, but I wanted to force myself to see what _I- _and I alone have created. I have done this to myself. My outside, my inside, my mental, and my physical, I have caused it. I have caused the ugly within _and_ I have caused the ugly outside. '_Fat_', I almost wanted to sneer at myself, but I didn't want to sink as low as insulting myself. I was better then that, I don't want to be too hard on myself. If I sink myself lower, I'll never gain a proper amount of self-confidence.

I turned around slowly and wondered over to my bed where a photo was set. I looked down on it briefly, before I took it in my hand. The photo basically engulfed me into the past. The photo showed the good times, the times of no trouble and no depression.

The photo showed a _completely_ different looking girl- that I can proudly call me- and the handsome, charming, never changing, Edward Cullen. It was in our meadow. It was one of the many times Edward and I had retreated to our favourite place, and at that time, I had brought a camera, attempting to see if he would turn out in the photos, as well as to create memories for times like now, when I want to reminisce.

We were so happy and in love. But apparently, he was sorry our relationship went on for so long. Questions of our previous relationship overwhelmed me. How long had he been pretending? How much of our magical relationship was a lie? And also, Edward had said I wasn't good enough for him, that I wasn't _good_ for him. What does that even mean? I'm too shy? I'm too accident-prone? I may be onto something with that theory. I had threatened to expose them nearly everyday back then. Well, I'll have to work on that. I have to work on my confidence as well, become more of a risk taker.

Edward loves speed, exhilaration and adrenalin. I would get involved in that. And it will be easy, because Edward doesn't exactly care for me anymore. We can be friends _at first_. But things will change. I'll be there for him, when no one is. I'm in on his secret. I know the truth of his vampire existence. I can help him. It'll be fine. I just need to work on myself, not him.

He doesn't need to change for me.

So, the things I need to change – and add to myself- are, my lack of confidence, I need to become more acquainted with my friend speed and exhilaration and I need to stop with the clumsiness. I have to watch where I'm going.

What else do I need to change? I shuddered as I attempted to think back to that dreadful memory - I know I have to get over. The whole scene was as clear, as could be, as if it happened yesterday. The hard liquid of his eyes were still perfectly clear, that depressing day still stuck into my mind. What else had he said? I kept thinking.

Well, he said he was tired of pretending to be human. So, maybe I can make myself less fragile- I guess since he's lost the care aspect he had sustained around me, that will be easier done.

All right, so they are the mental aspects I have to work on, now onto the physical.

I walked back over to the mirror. I felt very, _very_ ashamed with myself. How did I do this to myself? It doesn't even matter I guess. I basically murdered myself, sent myself to prison, and now I'm going to get myself out.

I need to work out _everyday._ The thought made me groan. I always say I'm going to get on that treadmill, but I don't end up doing it. I always make excuses. I have to be really focused. I can't promise things to myself and then break them. I have to do this. I have to do this not only for Edward, but also for me. Though, I'm sure Edward wouldn't mind if Jessica was fat, he loves her personality. He loves what's on the inside. I _need_ to work on both.

Next, I have to work on my face, my appearance. I don't have Alice. Though, I'm pretty sure she's back, I don't want her help. I want this to be a independent task, a personal goal and achievement. I mean not all girls like me out there have an Alice. I'm going to prove that anyone can do this. I'm going to keep a blog of this. so I can look back on my progress and reassure myself I have made progress.

I had also considered keeping a dairy. But that would have been the old me's way of doing things. I have to become more technology adapted. Everyone else at school is.

All right so now, my face and appearance. I have to get rid of my pimples. And I think I'll start wearing my hair down more often. I mean I already do, but sometimes I wear it up too. I think I'll straighten it more often as well.

So that's basically all that needs to change. I walked over to my bed slowly, sighing contently, unsure of what to do now. When I reached the foot of my bed, I instantly collapsed down on it, breathing in and out heavily. I wasn't tired, just unsure and overwhelmed.

I guess everything I just said is easier said then done. But I will do this.

My mind started to ponder on the idea of going over to the Cullen's house just to say hi. Should I wait till I've lost a couple of kilos? Will it be awkward? I shook my head free of these thoughts. I shouldn't worry, I should just _do. _But, I won't go now. I'll go tomorrow, when I have a better excuse to go. I'll interact with him tomorrow. Well, I'll _try_ to interact with him. I have to get rid of my nerves though.

I started to think about what I'm actually nervous about. Is it the whole concept of talking to him? Or is it the idea that the love of my life will be standing right in front of me and anything I could say or do, could effect the outcome of my plan? Ok... now I'm just making myself nervous. There is _nothing_ to be nervous about. This is _life_. You only live it once- well for most of us. You have to grab every opportunity, because you'll regret it later in life. What exactly is there to be afraid of?

These rhetorical questions I had just asked myself, actually made me feel better. They were quite true. It sent a warm, adrenaline seeking feeling through me. It felt nice. I felt like I could do anything. And I will. I can achieve what I want to achieve. I just have to try my hardest.

I walked over to my closet and pulled out shorts and a t-shirt. I put the clothes on and then grabbed my Ipod and headed out to our garage. Charlie had put it there when he realised I needed some space other than my room. He had put in a treadmill when he realised I was getting a little pudgy. He's always hinting for me to go on. He's worried about my health; I know he is. I felt bad about that, but I hadn't in a state to focus on me, let alone him. But now I am.

The door of the garage- or shed, whatever you'd call it, was already open, so I waked straight in. The treadmill was positioned in the corner of the dully-lighted room. I walked over to it, ignoring the busted up couch that lay in the middle of the room.

I hopped on the machine and put my earphones in my ear, letting my Ipod rest in my pocket. I pressed the 'start' button on the treadmill to choose a program. The treadmill has a number of little programs that choose all the speeds and the amount of time for me. The program I chose, ranged from- the speeds of two- the lowest- to ten, which was _not_ the highest on this machine. The fastest you could go on this machine was twenty, which is pretty damn fast.

I was content with ten as my fastest, though. I mean I haven't done exercise in ages; I need to start off slow. I didn't press 'start' for the walking to start, instead, I scrolled through the song list on my Ipod, looking for a good inspiring song, or at least one that's fast, edgy and will get me going.

I found the perfect one as I reached the 'I' section on my Ipod. I pressed play and then pressed start on the machine and started to walk as the sound of the material grazing across the metal started.

'Ignorance' by 'Paramore' started to play, making me determined.

_If I'm a bad person, you don't like me, I guess I'll make my own way. It's a circle a mean cycle can't excite you anymore_

_Where's your gavel? You're jury? What's my offense this time? You're not a judge but if you're gonna judge me. Well sentence me to another life _

_Don't wanna hear your sad songs, I don't wanna feel your pain. When you swear it's all my fault but you know we're not the same We're not the same (Oh) we're not the same (Yeah) the friends who stuck together we wrote our names in blood. But I guess you can't accept that the change is good, It's good, It's good _

_You treat me just like another stranger, Well it's nice to meet you sir, I guess I'll go I best be on my way out You treat me just like another stranger Well it's nice to meet you sir I guess I'll go I best be on my way out _

_Ignorance is your new best friend Ignorance is your new best friend_

I tunned myself out of the song, as my thoughts took over my mind He's going to notice me. I'll have him back. We'll feel the love once again. Things will be all right. Things will turn out ok. I _will_ win him back.

I woke up in the morning feeling quite refreshed. I had gotten a wonderful amount of sleep last night- partly because I was incredibly tired from my hour on the treadmill. But also, because my sleep had been filled with enchanting fantasies of Mr Edward Cullen and I. I hadn't had any nightmares and I didn't lie awake all night wondering why I was so stupid, ugly, fat and unwanted. I had slept, and it was wonderful.

I had plenty of time to get to school today- an hour and fifteen minutes to be precise. I walked down stairs and smiled as I saw Charlie hadn't left yet- as he still remained at the table, reading today's newspaper. "Morning, Charlie." I chimed, while walking down the stairs- being only a little cautious of which steps I was treading on- not wanting to trip. Charlie took a moment, as his eyes drifted down the last segment on the page, and then turned his head to face me.

His face was filled with a little confusion for moment, but after a second, it disappeared and he smiled at me. Like, a true smile. He wasn't only happy to see me, he was happy to see me _smiling_. "Morning, Bells, you sleep well?" He asked lightly, still smiling. "Yeah actually, pretty fantastic." I replied. "That's great to hear." He replied back, his eyes drifting back to the newspaper, with a smile still implanted on his face. With that our conversation ended, but I didn't mind.

I skipped over to the cupboard to grab a cereal box. I grabbed the one that said 'Apple and blueberry, crunchola' It sounded nice. It's also very good for you and it can be eaten on yoghurt too. I laughed out loud at my thoughts. I sound like a commercial. I then nearly dropped the box, as realisation hit me. I had just _laughed_. _Laughed_. I had just made a noise of happiness. I had also _smiled _this morning, and a true smile_. _I felt I was changing on the inside, though I know on the outside I still have a long way to go.

I got out the milk and walked over to the table, grabbing a spoon with my fingers that were still available to carry things- attempting to be almost ninja with the amount of food I was carrying. I laughed again at my use of the word ninja. It felt nice, cleansing and real.

I finished eating quickly, with no more but the words of 'see ya' from Charlie. I ran straight into the bathroom and pulled out some things I'd never thought I'd use. Pimple creams. I applied them on and rinsed them off. No change seemed to appear straight away- as was expected, but I felt better. I brushed my teeth thoroughly and continued to brush my hair out- thinking about what to do with it while I walked back to my room.

I decided to straighten my hair. I walked over to my side table and put the straightener on for later when I've finished getting dressed.

I looked through my wardrobe. I sighed; I didn't have many good, fashionable clothes. I'd have to go shopping some time this week. I was happy with myself, as I had just resisted the urge to groan. Shopping, I'd have to get used to it. I need to look better, again, not just for Edward, but for myself, Better clothes, better look, equals more self confidence.

I found a pair of black skinny jeans and pulled them on- of course, doing the pants dance at the same time. I'm a size 18 at times, but 16 at others. That's going to change. I'll get back to my size 12 one day- hopefully soon.

I then found a dark blue singlet top and put that on over- it was something that didn't show the fat folds on my stomach but instead ran straight over them, making me look like I had a flat stomach. It also showed a tiny bit of curve I didn't have. I got a black cardigan that stopped just below my breasts emphasising them, and making me warmer. I liked the black on me at the moment- it looked good. Though, I guess black looks good on everyone. But, the blue looks nice as well. I mean, Edward always said so. When I get thinner I'll wear lighter colours, but I need the thinning effect that black and the dark colour have on me at the moment.

I looked in the mirror and decided this was ok for now. I didn't look half bad, beside the fatness; I was probably looking the best I could at this moment in time. I was proud of myself. I'm not usually the type to know what to do when it comes to clothes. But I managed to figure out a casual non-fat revealing outfit.

I then moved over to where my straightener lay and I made sure not to burn myself like I have done previously. I straightened each layer of my hair and then turned off the straightener one I was done. I looked at myself in the mirror and I felt like smiling at my appearance for the first time in ages. But I didn't, because I know I have a long way to go. I'm going to look and feel way better then this.

I then grabbed my black bag and headed out the room. I walked down the stairs- successfully I may add- and continued smiling while walking out the door. Charlie had already left, as his car was not in its usual space. I walked over to my truck and used the muscle I had left to hall myself up into it. I assume- well hopefully assume, it will get easier to get in over time, one, because I will gain more muscle. And two, I will have gained more muscle- well again, hopefully.

I put my bag on the seat next to me and started to car. I fell back lightly in my seat. No one can ever make me get rid of this car. It has old memories, and new ones- but it's also a piece of history in the Black's family and now in mine. I love it; I love the feeling of owning this car. It's like Edward, it never changes. Speaking of Edward, the car has a little of his essence in it. I can smell him almost- from previous times.

I don't know if I'm crazy, but I just think I smell him. So, sometimes, crazily, I used to get into this car to blow off some steam, or feel calm and collected.

I backed the car out of the driveway as I realised I had been sitting in my car, in the driveway for a few minuets just reminiscing about _the car_. I took off and took the silence as gift; I could now plan out what I'm going to do if I see Edward.

I kept my eyes on the road as I clenched my fists around the steering wheel. Speaking of Edward, he likes exhilaration, _speed_. Lets try that. I was kind of scared speeding up on this road, but I had to try new things and I have to change. Though, maybe I shouldn't risk my life and getting arrested. Oh well.

I put my foot down a little on the pedal, no speeding cameras were around, so I was fine, plus I'm the chief's daughter, I guess I'll get off if I get in trouble. So, there's nothing to worry about. I stepped a bit more on the pedal and I felt the exhilaration hit me, the speed enhanced as I got over the weird feeling that lingered in my stomach. I liked it. Sure I was scared as hell, but it felt good in a way, once you learn to ignore that feeling- voice and instinct of '_SLOW THE HELL DOWN TOO FAST!' _it all seems very surreal and exhilarating.

I slowed down a smidge and I kept on thinking about Edward. If I see him, should I say hi? Yeah, I guess I should start off familiar, courageous, hopeful and different. I started to mentally scold myself. No, I shouldn't plan this; I have to take it as it comes.

I slid my car into the school parking lot and squeezed it into a spot between two unfamiliar cars. I almost jumped out of my car and grabbed my bag before I slammed the door, ignoring stares. People were staring at me. I could feel it. They weren't good stares; they were stares of confusion and shock. The stares said things like '_Do I know her?' 'What happened to Bella? She sure got a life change', 'she's changed', 'I swear that girl used to be emo or something' and 'look who's shaped up'. _I ignored them regardless of the unwanted attention it brought.

I was looking for certain cars- one including a silver shinny, Volvo. I looked around desperate to find it, then something- or some _people_, caught my eye. There they were, all of the Cullen's in their never-changing beauty, walking swiftly towards the school entrance. _Act cool Bella, act cool_, I mentally commanded myself.I breathed in and then out, trying to steady the nerves and my heartbeat. Once this little personal task was complete, I started to walk up towards the school entrance, the Cullen's now waking off into the hallway.

I suddenly felt self-conscious of my weight, which I should be, I'm still fat. I took a breath in and told myself there is nothing I can do about that now. I opened the doors and saw Mike and Angela talking in front of the first row of lockers in the hallway. _Ok_ _Bella, there is no time like the present, go and talk to them. _I felt like my feet had a mind of their own as I drifted causally- completely freaking out, towards Angela and Mike. They both turned their heads in shock as they saw me. They weren't used to seeing the _un-depressed_ and _seen by all_ Bella.

This was only expected, so I ignored- and overlooked them. "Hey." I greeted, hoping they wouldn't make this hard and awkward and reply quickly. Angela was the first to turn out of her shock. "Hi Bella, long time no see…it seems like I haven't talked to you in ages… how are you?" She asked lightly, stating her true feelings. I shuffled awkwardly in my position. "Yeah, it seems like ages. I've kind of been... out of it you could say, but I'm back now, I'd really like to start again… I'm actually, pretty good this morning," I explained truthfully. "Well that's… good to hear," Angela almost encouraged. I smiled lightly at her, but I couldn't bring myself to look at Mike for some reason.

I suddenly saw Angela's elbow come in contact with Mike's stomach. I bet she was trying to make that unnoticeable... yeah that didn't turn out so well. Mike got the hint as he let out a small groan in pain and annoyance. "Hey Bella... good to hear and see from you today...Uhh... you look nice?" He almost asked, you could tell he was nervous. I laughed lightly, and as I did the atmosphere around us three soften. Angela and Mike started to feel more relaxed.

"So..." Mike drifted awkwardly. "So..." I almost agreed. "Where's Jessica?" Angela asked completely out of nowhere, possibly trying to make a conversations starter. Well, I hate to say this, but that wasn't a very good conversation starter, was it?

Eric suddenly walked in on our conversation, just as Angela had started to ask her question. "Uhhh with Edward." Eric answered causally. Eric's eyes then drifted over to my figure, but as he met my eyes his pupils dilated and he sucked in a breath of air. You could basically feel the tension start to rise as Eric had answered. Worry filled Angela and Mike's eyes, as I could just picture them mentally imagining breaking a chair onto Eric's head, for bringing up the bad subject.

I sighed, and all three pairs of eyes fell upon me. "Bella, I'm sorry," Eric apologised sincerely, you could tell he wanted to say more, but couldn't bring himself to. I was glad for that, but I didn't want them to feel bad, no matter how badly it hurt me to hear the heart-breaking truth of the relationship Edward and Jessica are now involved in. The relationship that I should be in... The relationship, that's causing me to change and to create this plan. I shook myself out of my thoughts.

I realised I had been looking down at my feet, avoiding their pitiful stares. No Bella, rule number one, don't hide yourself. Be confident, or as confident as possible. "Guys, I'm fine, really." I told them sincerely, trying to sound real and true- I hoped I wasn't failing. Angela looked at me with a raised eyebrow- no fooled at all, while Mike and Eric- being guys, didn't see through my misguiding, emotion-filled lie and went on like I was fine. I shook my head at Angela, showing her I didn't want to talk.

Eric let out a fake yawn- to cover up the silence, and then put one of his arms around my shoulder and the other around Mike. "It's good to be back to together, all friends, all _united_ all-" Eric was cut off as Jessica walked into the circle, her hand dragging another along with her. I didn't particularly want to look at her, but as I was ready for my eyes to meet hers, I got greeted with the liquid topaz eyes of Mr Cullen himself instead. I instantly looked away. My eyebrows furrowed in worry and Angela shot me a look. "Well, I have to head to the... bathrooms, nice talking to you guys, really." I announced in a rush, as I removed Eric's arm from around my shoulder and started to stroll causally away. I kept walking at – what I hoped to be a normal, causal speed, until I reached the corner, and that's when I started to basically bolt for the bathrooms.

Once in the bathroom, I held onto the germ-filled sink for support and took a breath in then out. I started to reassure myself. Though, I know I had just screwed everything. What happened to be calm and causal? What happened to being different and bold? Well, I can honestly say I had just failed majorly. I'll just have to try again, I guess. There's nothing else to do but try again. I could have actually had to go to the bathrooms for all Edward and the rest of them knew. I almost rolled my eyes at myself; I'm not that good of an actor.

I sighed at myself as I took another breath in. It'll all be fine; it'll all work out, just try again. The bell started to ring as I looked around for my bag-, which I had dumped in the corner on the bathrooms when I had entered. I slung my misplaced bag onto my shoulder and walked out of the bathroom as if I was fine. I so wasn't though.

My first period today was English, my favourite subject. But even my favourite subject didn't distract my over-working heart from the run-in I had just had with Edward five minutes ago. Nothing could. I had literally looked at him for five seconds and my heart had started to beat incredibly fast-, which I thought to be kind of good, as a beating heart is a healthy heart, which means weight loss. I walked into the half-full classroom that I call my English room.

I walked up the back of the classroom, took a seat and leaned forward in my seat to get my hair to act as a curtain, I don't feel like taking to anyone else this morning. I just want to be left alone in my panicking state. I soon realised I hadn't even begun to worry about the fact that one of the Cullen's could be in my class- that meaning Mr Perfect Cullen, with the liquid topaz eyes that could give me a heart attack one of these days., could be in here. By the time I started to worry, it was too late. Everyone had already chosen his or hers seats. I looked up from the desk to look around the room.

I didn't catch an eye full of any bronze-haired angel, or any pale-faced, beautiful vampires anywhere. I was glad for this. "Hi." A voice spoke softly from next to me. I jumped in my seat and turned myself around to face the person of which the voice belonged too, my chair making an awful screeching noise, as it skidded out of it's position.

Right in front of my eyes was the little pixie; I used to call my best friend. She smiled at me. I didn't smile back though. Alice seemed to sense my unhappiness. I felt a tiny bit guilty making her feel guilty. She knew I wasn't happy about her leaving. She knew I had become a social nothing because of her leaving. She _knew_ she was part of the reason my life had gotten destroyed. I decided to really start my new persona right now. I waited for her to speak first, which she did.

"Bella, I'm-" I cut her off. I don't want to fight with her but I already know exactly what she was going to say and I don't need to hear it. "Alice, I'm not going to lie to you and say I haven't missed you, but save your speech, please. I'm still your friend, but that doesn't mean I forgive you. Maybe in time I will, but I'm not going to pretend that it didn't hurt when you left." I finished.

Alice was lost for words at my preparation for this moment. "Ok… But you have to know one thing; I didn't want to leave you Bella. I begged so much to try and stay, but no one would let me," She explained. I took a breath, "Good to know." I replied in all seriousness. Mr. Stone started to talk and I felt myself relaxing more, bringing down my guard. So now I know she left me, but she didn't want too. Does this make a change in where she and I stand? I need a friend, I really do, but do I need Alice? The answer is yes. Alice is nearly the opposite of me; I need her to cheer up my life.

So, I don't forgive her, but I continue to be her friend and hopefully in time things will change. I like that idea. My attention averted back to Mr. Stone as he continued on to talk about some project. "So, with your partner, you are to organise a speech, a debate if you will, on a fictional book. The book _must_ be a classic- Shakespeare included. This debate will be presented sometime next week and we will possibly be debating against another class, maybe not. And before you ask, Mr. Newton, I do not know which class that may be and it will not be one in which your friends are in. Any questions?" Mr. Stone finished.

The project didn't sound too hard. "Is this an assessment?" Someone from the front row questioned. "No, this will not be counted toward your final assessment grade, though it will be on your report." Mr. Stone replied. "Alright, that's it. This assignment will be done in and out of class, have it ready by next week. I'm going to be generous. Pick your partners yourself, but if there is too much chitchat- and not about the work, then you will be swapped, no exceptions." He explained, rather calmly.

Someone else chimed in with another question, while I saw and heard edging of seats, as people attempted to grab their wanted partners before anyone else could. "Do we get to chose whether we are against or for the story we choose? Like are we negative of positive, opposing or for?" Mr. Stone then looked up at us all. "This is a very important question everyone, listen up. Sarah here has asked whether you all can choose what you are posing as- debating on the positive side or the negative. The answer it _no_, whatever you choose, you will be acting as the positive. You will be debating in the act of why the story is good. Got it? Alright then, go ahead and start." Mr. Stone alerted.

With that, everyone was talking and some running across the room to grab their desired partner's hand. I turned to Alice awkwardly. I guess I could be her partner; she's probably done exercises like this about a thousand times, so I won't be at a disadvantage. Plus, it would be good for us to get closer, even if it meant doing it over an English assignment.

Alice was peering down at her phone from under the table when I turned to face her. After a moment, Alice's eyes met mine. "So... want to be my partner?" I asked hopefully. Alice bit her lip, "Uhh... sorry Bella, but I'm already partnered with Emma over there," Alice half shrugged. I felt my mood and hopes drop. No, No. I don't want to be alone.

I looked at Alice my shoulders shrugged and a frown placed on my mouth. Alice started laughing at me. I narrowed my eyes at her. Glad to see her laughing at my loner state. "Yeah, funny, Bella doesn't have a partner, once again, go ahead and laugh," I encouraged her sarcastically. Alice shook her head at me. "Bella, I'm joking! Of course I'll be your partner. I don't even think there's an Emma in this class, well there might be, but I think her name is Eleanor, Elonoy... or Amy or something." Alice drifted off. I laughed at her failed attempt to discover the right name.

"Uhh Alice, there are no people in this class with _any_ of those names," I paused for a moment to let out a true laugh. "I think the closest name to one of those would be Juliet." I finished. Alice giggled at her fail along with me. It felt good. "Oh well, they're not important, I'm sure they'll have a short life and then at their death bed they'll regret not being named_ Emma_, or _Amy._" Alice finished.

I gasped in mock horror. I didn't know whether to laugh or scold. Poor Juliet… if there's a Juliet in this class. I decided to laugh. "What a nice person you are." I approved sarcastically, patting her on the back. Alice's face brighten, and she smiled a wide grin, her teeth stretching out as far as they could. Her eyes squeezing shut. I rolled my eyes at her. "I know!" She laughed.

"Is there really a Juliet in this class?" Alice asked me. I nodded slowly, sighing in content. "I've always liked that name…" Alice trailed off. I shrugged, "I think Romeo and Juliet turned me off that name." I told her. "Why?" she asked me, confused why I didn't seem to like the most tragic and romantic love story of all time. "I mean, why don't you like Romeo and Juliet, you make it sound… I don't know dumb, or something?" Alice continued.

I sighed. "Because it's not realistic, Alice. It sets you up for nothing, for heartbreak. I mean, I can see how it's romantic and I can see why they killed themselves, but that would never happen. In fact, _nothing _like that will ever happen in this life. Not for me, not for _anyone_." I told her, attempting to make it clear, so I won't have to come back to this subject.

Alice looked at me in a blank manor. "Why?" She asked acting confused. I wondered briefly if she was trying to piss me off… I decided to comply anyways. "Because, Alice. No one in this day and age, would despatch themselves for their loved one." I explained, hoping she'd drop it now. But, to my dismay, the look of confusion didn't leave her face. "Why?" She asked again, I groaned and then sighed.

"Alice, BOYS AREN'T RELIABLE! They saunter around, saying they love you, but they will break heart at any moment in time, not even giving a second thought to it. Half of them can't even proclaim their love, how the hell would _any _of those, lying, cheating, heart-breaking male gendered idiots be able – and want to- kill themselves for their loved one? The selfish morons of the male species wouldn't know compassion, care or empathy no matter how hard they try! The _love story _of Romeo and Juliet sets you up for a bad relationship. It gives you high stands, when you're lucky in this day and age to get a medium _low _standard in the way a guy will treat you." I ranted, gasping for air once I was done.

Alice looked confused still for a moment, until her expression changed a few of times. The first was to a brief look of shock. She was probably shocked, not only about my opinion on Romeo and Juliet, but boys as well. The second emotion was guilt. This one confused me, but before I could dwell on what it meant, her expression changed again to one of neutralism. "But Bella... Romeo and Juliet is a _true_ love story." Alice pointed out calmly, with a tiny bit of a smirk.

I rolled my eyes at her, my frown deepening. "Yeah whatever… I say Romeo and Juliet is a myth" I replied calmly, joking and mumbling the last bit. Alice smiled at me; she knew I was joking on the last part. Alice's expression changed to one of hurt. My shoulders slumped. Great, I had upset her. "Alice…" I trailed off. Alice looked down at the table, avoiding my eyes. I took a breath and softened my emotions.

"Alice, you do understand what I'm saying right? I'm not saying that you have to feel that way as well. Heck, feel anyway you want about Romeo and Juliet. I just think it's a set up and it's completely unrealistic, though I don't deny that it _is _romantic." I attempted to reassure. I hoped it worked,

"Me too." Alice agreed enthusiastically. Wait what? Alice then looked up at me, with a wide smile on her face. Then she started to giggle. My frown came back. "What?" I asked, my eyes narrowing. "Me too. I agree. The story is a bit far-fetched, but it is romantic." Alice giggled. I put my hands on my forehead, as I leaned my elbows against the table and shook my head at her, disapproving what she has just done. "You mean to say, you let me rant for five minutes, for no reason? When you completely agreed with me?" I asked her with a glum look and a low voice Alice giggled more as she nodded.

I removed my hands from my head as I put my two index fingers out- rubbed them together- and then started to shame her. Alice rolled her eyes at me. I started to laugh with her, but then I noticed, her eyes flickering over tho the front of the classroom.

I looked over to see Mr. Stone walking over to us. I was about to quietly alert Alice- instinctively- but Alice, being Alice was ahead of me. She was looking down at her paper, scribbling something, that still seemed to be in neat writing, no matter how fast she appeared the be writing. By the time I looked back up, Mr. Stone was towering over us, with a disapproving look, obviously having seen our wonderful method of working- by this meaning, our giggling, ranting and shaming. "And what are you girls doing for your assignment?" Mr. Stone asked with a strict '_I'm not joking here, and I'm not dumb, I heard you laughing from across the room'_ tone and look. I smiled at him, my eyes drifting from side to side. I hoped Alice had us covered here.

"Romeo and Juliet." Alice answered quickly. I nearly chocked on nothing. The use of the story name didn't bode with the way she said the word Romeo and Juliet. It was too ironic for me and I started bursting out laughing. Mr. Stone eyed me and I tried to stifle my giggles, while Alice looked up at him innocently, acting like it wasn't funny to her. I bet she was dying inside. "I don't want any trouble here, or I'll spilt you up." He almost threatened, as he walked away from us.

As he became more distant I let all my laughs out and Alice joined me, her delicate, chiming giggles having a great contrast with my still equally high, but uneven, horrible sounding laugh. Mr. Stone eyed us again from across the room, making me stop laughing and looked down, and after a few moments I cupped my hand over my mouth and continued to laugh along with Alice. I then brought my head up to look at Alice, as if saying '_Why? What the hell is wrong with you?'_ Alice just continued to giggle.

Somehow, I couldn't bring myself to be angry at Alice, even though I don't think I can debate for the story of Romeo and Juliet, I have such a bad opinion of it. But I'll try… I haven't felt this happy in a long time. I haven't laughed like this in a long time. I've missed laughing like this.

"Well... this will be fun." She announced as she grinned at me. I looked at her, shaking my head._ 'Oh well'._

**Tell me hat you think! I will be updating regularly now that i am on holidays! yay! so with all my other stories like Misery Business I will updates that one so, for anyone that wanted to know! Review pretty please! and follow me on twitter with the name LadyVerRose :)**

**Also i'm thinking of changing the name of this story, can you guys help, choose out of these 2 and if you have any other ideas please let me know!**

**"I'll have you back"**

**"We'll be together once again"  
**

**Love**

**Veronika**


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